The Day (I Misunderstood my son)

I was on leave today. Had to send Tina back to the clinic for her HFMD review. She's cleared and can now resume school again. She has been worried that she misses her lessons and her piling schoolworks. She been spending the past days in my bed with me the whole day while I get on some work from home. Finally, she'll get to see her friends again!

I have an appointment to meet Eddy's teachers today. This has been postponed several times because I have been terribly busy at work lately. Not that I'm less busy now, but I just cannot postponed any further; it just doesn't feel right.

The purpose of today's meeting has been highlighted to me by his teacher last week. So, I know what I'm getting myself into. So, mentally I thought I'm well-prepared to face what comes may.

Yesterday's incident left a huge anger and frustruation in me. I was so angry that I guess I lose my mind and get out of control. When my hubby informed me that Eddy had secretly changed his handphone, I was worried. It doesn't bother to me if he had traded-in the handphone I bought him for another piece. What terrifies me was the idea that he had stole that phone from someone else. I cannot accept it if he decided to pick the habit of stealing because I believe I've provided him well and have always reminded him of the consequences of such action.

Deep in my heart I am still confident he would not do such a thing; I know my son. But I'm worried he succumbed to peer pressure due to numerous unhappy incidents going on in school since the beginning of this year.

So, we decided to confront him and found out that the phone came from my parents. My hubby called my parents and it was indeed from them. I felt betrayed! Betrayed by my own parents who had secretly got him that Nokia phone with camera & mp3. I have my reasons for not allowing my son to carry a handphone with camera and mp3 and Eddy knew the reason. The whole idea is not about MONEY.. its about SECURITY. Here I am desperately trying to discipline my child, there they are doing all the opposite.. what have I done to deserve this?

On my way to his school, I was on furious mode over last night incident. I keep telling my hubby that if his teacher gonna complain so much about him, I'm throwing out of the house! He might as well be raised by my parents who think they can handle him better!

Our appointment was fixed at 2pm and I was punctual. His teachers appear 30 minutes later.. that's very annoying.. I hate latecomers and was grumbling with my hubby "how they expect to discipline a child when they are not disciplined themselves?". My hubby had to calm me down.

So, the topic begun with all the complains (or 'concerns' which they prefer to call it). He's been so talkative, distractive, bad-tempered, etc. all the norm stuffs! I am here not to hear to complains only.. noone should complains if they don't have any suggestion to follow up with - don't waste my time!

We talked about alot of things.. we came to some agreement and suggestions for implementation. One of which is for Eddy to attend counselling session to develop his social skills. We are agreeable to have a counsellor involved in the situation. I feel Eddy need someone whom he can relate to. There used to be his primary school band master whom he looked upon highly. He is among those whom Eddy would willingly adhere to instructions. No, he is all alone in an unfamiliar ground and the teachers do acknowledge that he has no friends. He was not able to make friends due to his poor social skills.

The teacher suggested if he would prefer doing group study in school while waiting for his dad to fetch him in the evening. Eddy rejected the idea citing "I don't feel safe here" as his sole reason he prefer to go home straight after lesson.

His answer led to probe on why he felt unsafe in school. He told of an incident in class today where a boy from another class came to hit one of his classmate. His classmate's cries for help from the teacher who was present in class was put on a deaf ear. So, the beating took place infront of the whole class!

We were all shocked! the teacher keep asking who was the victim? He brush it with "I promised that boy not to tell". After constant probing he gave in and turn around with his teary eyes and said "the victim was ME! Are you happy now?! I was beaten up infront of the whole class and the others just laugh! Even the teacher did not rescue me!"...

My heart broke seeing my son so frustruated! I felt so guilty. What kind of mental torture had my son been put through? I had thought that the bullying had stopped since he stopped talking about it anymore. Now I am worried.. was the bully incident he told me some days ago about a boy's mouth being stuffed with a sock and beaten up at the back gate is actually about his own ordeal?

Out of this meeting, my hubby and I was utterly disappointed with his Band Teacher. She apparently tried so hard to avoid meeting us. The form teacher had to call her twice and asked her to spare a few minute to sit down with us before she finally gave in but excuse herself shortly after when she fail to provide a justifiable reason on why our son (who was admitted into the school for his music talent) was denied the instrument he was passionate about.

For now, we just want him to complete his final year exam and will pull him out of the place. The teacher says that the problem lies with his poor social skills.. However, none of the 3 teachers present able to answer this question I pose "If all your colleagues are against you and singled you out, would you enjoy coming to work?"

Meanwhile, Eddy had verbally expressed his desire not to pursue in that school anymore..