Balik balik berpusing pada aku juga!
Tak kira punca siapa, silap siapa tetap aku jugak yang kena akhirnya.
Terima panggillan dipejabat dari pembantu rumah yang sedang menangis.
Lerr.. apa pulak yang sudah terjadi?
Budak-budak bertumbuk dirumah pagi tadi. Hanya kerana roti!
Silap:
Ryan - Roti tinggal dua makan satu dulu apa lah salahnya. Lepas makan pergi lah kedai beli roti lagi. Langsung tak ingat orang belakang. Dah tahu perangai abang dia macam singa lapar...
Eddy - Panas baran sama macam bapak dia jugak! Kurang toleransi. Roti dah habis pergi lah beli kat kedai bawah blok tu. Kalau malas nak turun ke kedai, makan biskut tak boleh ke? Sikit sikit nak mengamuk. Sikit sikit nak gaduh..
Pembantu - kalau dah tahu roti tak cukup, kenapa tak beritahu semalam supaya aku boleh beli semasa pulang dari kerja?
Dah tahu Eddy marah sebab roti habis tak tahu nak pergi beli ke? atau sekurang kurang nya kasi dia duit untuk beli? Tadi pagi aku tinggalkan duit utuk apa kalau benda macam ini pun tak boleh fikir? Kalau dah tak minat nak kerja, cakap saja. Dengan rela hati aku hantar balik.
Bingit:
Mak aku - Aku mintak tolong dia nasihatkan budak-budak and pembantu. Tapi bukan dia nasihatkan.. dia bagi makan pulak. Akhirnya aku pulak yang salah dimata dia. Aku tak cukup bagi makan katanya! Baru minggu lepas belanja pasar sampai $200.. tak cukup ke tu?
Mak aku memang camtu. Apa apa pon aku tetap dipersalahkan. Orang lain semua betul biarpun jelas nyata kesalahannya. Bila aku protest, dia jawab "Kalau aku tak salahkan kau, nanti keadaan bertambah teruk. Lagipun, aku tahu kau tak suka ambik hati. Jadi tak apa lah kalau aku salahkan kau."
Boleh gitu? Aku ni punching bag ke?
Korang semua 'take me fro granted'. Nanti aku lari jauh jauh baru korang tau...
About Me
- Ana Rahman
- I am a woman with strong character, a believer in Justice, a supporter for Harmony & Equality, a feline lover. At times I can be funny, some times you hate what I did (honestly, I don't really care). Don't crack foreign jokes to me, you'll be pissed when I can't see thru it (don't waste your time).. **Please do NOT speculate from the title of my blogs. For I am the kind of woman who is blessed with the talent to make you laugh to tears.**
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Seandainya...
"Seandainya...
Dapat kau selam
Sama mentafsir tasik hatiku
Cuma tenang dipermukaan..."
Pejabat tenang saja.. kerja aku pon tenang saja... kalau tak tenang pon, aku bawak bertenang ler.
Setiap sesuatu itu ada had nya. Kalau nak diikutkan sangat kerja aku ni.. tak payah balik rumah jawabnya. Hai.. kalau dah setiap hari kerja melebihi 12 - 15 jam masih tetap jugak kerja menimbun, apa nak dikatakan lagi? Aku buat saja apa yang terdaya.
Semenjak kerja disini, rasanya sebahagian hidupku sudah mati. Masa utuk keluarga selalunya dihujung minggu saja. Lebih tepat lagi .. hari Ahad saja sebab anak-anak ku sibuk sekali pada hari sabtu.
Work-Life Balance.. hmmm what's that?? Aku rasa falsafah itu hanya untuk kerani kontrak saja. Dipejabatku, jam 10 malam pon belom tentu gelap gelita. Kalau tak tercanguk depan komputer di pejabat, jari jemari pantas menari atas blackberry. Ataupon, mengadap laptop dirumah.
Itu lah hakikat perkerjaanku terutama sekali disaat kemurungan ekonomi. Tapi, ketika ekonomi baik pon sama saja.
Seperti yang aku katakan tadi.. aku buat saja mana yg termampu..
Suamiku pon apa kurang nya. Majikan dia tak habis-habis buat olah.. cari alasan nak kurangkan tenaga kerja tanpa membayar pampasan.. Aku tahu dia amat tertekan buat masa ni. Kesian jugak aku tengok dia. Ikutkan hati memang tak rela tengok dia pergi kerja macam tu.
C'mon, work have to be happy. Apa gunanya ke kerja dengan rasa terpaksa dan terdera.
Terpaksa kerana harus menyara keluarga.
Terdera kerana majikan yang tidak bertimbang rasa dan asyik menukar pendirian sewenang-wenangnya. Meminta sesuatu yang belum tentu dia sendiri mampu melakukannya.
Aku tak suka melihat kemurungannya. Hidup harus bahagia, bukan sekadar mengumpul harta semata.
Mungkin dah tiba masanya aku mulakan perniagaan yang sudah tertunda sekian lamanya.
Bukan sengaja nak ditunda, tapi sebenarnya aku tiada minat dan kemahiran untuk berniaga.
Mungkin 'dia' boleh memulakannya sebab dia lebih berpengalaman.
Hmm.. sebenarnya aku sedang melepaskan tension disini. Kerja terlalu banyak sampai otak ku berat untuk berfungsi..
Dapat kau selam
Sama mentafsir tasik hatiku
Cuma tenang dipermukaan..."
Pejabat tenang saja.. kerja aku pon tenang saja... kalau tak tenang pon, aku bawak bertenang ler.
Setiap sesuatu itu ada had nya. Kalau nak diikutkan sangat kerja aku ni.. tak payah balik rumah jawabnya. Hai.. kalau dah setiap hari kerja melebihi 12 - 15 jam masih tetap jugak kerja menimbun, apa nak dikatakan lagi? Aku buat saja apa yang terdaya.
Semenjak kerja disini, rasanya sebahagian hidupku sudah mati. Masa utuk keluarga selalunya dihujung minggu saja. Lebih tepat lagi .. hari Ahad saja sebab anak-anak ku sibuk sekali pada hari sabtu.
Work-Life Balance.. hmmm what's that?? Aku rasa falsafah itu hanya untuk kerani kontrak saja. Dipejabatku, jam 10 malam pon belom tentu gelap gelita. Kalau tak tercanguk depan komputer di pejabat, jari jemari pantas menari atas blackberry. Ataupon, mengadap laptop dirumah.
Itu lah hakikat perkerjaanku terutama sekali disaat kemurungan ekonomi. Tapi, ketika ekonomi baik pon sama saja.
Seperti yang aku katakan tadi.. aku buat saja mana yg termampu..
Suamiku pon apa kurang nya. Majikan dia tak habis-habis buat olah.. cari alasan nak kurangkan tenaga kerja tanpa membayar pampasan.. Aku tahu dia amat tertekan buat masa ni. Kesian jugak aku tengok dia. Ikutkan hati memang tak rela tengok dia pergi kerja macam tu.
C'mon, work have to be happy. Apa gunanya ke kerja dengan rasa terpaksa dan terdera.
Terpaksa kerana harus menyara keluarga.
Terdera kerana majikan yang tidak bertimbang rasa dan asyik menukar pendirian sewenang-wenangnya. Meminta sesuatu yang belum tentu dia sendiri mampu melakukannya.
Aku tak suka melihat kemurungannya. Hidup harus bahagia, bukan sekadar mengumpul harta semata.
Mungkin dah tiba masanya aku mulakan perniagaan yang sudah tertunda sekian lamanya.
Bukan sengaja nak ditunda, tapi sebenarnya aku tiada minat dan kemahiran untuk berniaga.
Mungkin 'dia' boleh memulakannya sebab dia lebih berpengalaman.
Hmm.. sebenarnya aku sedang melepaskan tension disini. Kerja terlalu banyak sampai otak ku berat untuk berfungsi..
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Apa & Kemana Arah Ku..
Hidupku di persimpangan.. entah kemana arahku selepas ini.
Harus kah aku menyesali hidup ku ini?????
I hope Allah hear my sorrow.. see my pain.. Answer my prayer.. Show me the way...
Amin!
Harus kah aku menyesali hidup ku ini?????
I hope Allah hear my sorrow.. see my pain.. Answer my prayer.. Show me the way...
Amin!
Friday, February 6, 2009
TOLOL nya aku!
12.15 pagi
Aku tak lena tido. Nak tidur pon susah. Sejak semalam aku marah sekali!
Siapa tak marah? Siapa yg hiba jika tahu dirinya sering diperdaya. Seseorang yang sangat aku percayai tergamak melakukan sesuatu yang tidak kusukai.
Selama ini hidupku terkongkong. Tapi, aku tak kisah sebab aku tahu ia demi untuk kebaikan ku sendiri. Tak sangka 'tuan'ku seorang hipokrit! Ini lah namanya pijak semut pun tak mati!
Pepatah juga ada berkata, Sepandai pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga!
Mungkin aku terlalu lurus didalam kehidupan. Kerana itu sangat mudah aku diperdayakan. Tapi Allah sering melindungiku dan memberitahu apa yg harus aku tahu.
Tipulah pada orang sekeliling, mampukah tipu diri sendiri?
Untuk apa berhujah Tasawuf, jika halal haram pon kau tak ambil tahu?
Untuk apa berjawatan tinggi, jika maruah agama harus di jual beli?
Kau takut pada kawan2 mu itu, aku lebih takut pada Tuhan ku..
Ternyata hari ni aku lihat jelas.
Kau dan aku tak selaras..
Adakah lebih baik aku hidup dihina?
Daripada terus hidup menumpang dosa?
TOLOL nya aku kerana tak melihat ini semua....
Aku tak lena tido. Nak tidur pon susah. Sejak semalam aku marah sekali!
Siapa tak marah? Siapa yg hiba jika tahu dirinya sering diperdaya. Seseorang yang sangat aku percayai tergamak melakukan sesuatu yang tidak kusukai.
Selama ini hidupku terkongkong. Tapi, aku tak kisah sebab aku tahu ia demi untuk kebaikan ku sendiri. Tak sangka 'tuan'ku seorang hipokrit! Ini lah namanya pijak semut pun tak mati!
Pepatah juga ada berkata, Sepandai pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga!
Mungkin aku terlalu lurus didalam kehidupan. Kerana itu sangat mudah aku diperdayakan. Tapi Allah sering melindungiku dan memberitahu apa yg harus aku tahu.
Tipulah pada orang sekeliling, mampukah tipu diri sendiri?
Untuk apa berhujah Tasawuf, jika halal haram pon kau tak ambil tahu?
Untuk apa berjawatan tinggi, jika maruah agama harus di jual beli?
Kau takut pada kawan2 mu itu, aku lebih takut pada Tuhan ku..
Ternyata hari ni aku lihat jelas.
Kau dan aku tak selaras..
Adakah lebih baik aku hidup dihina?
Daripada terus hidup menumpang dosa?
TOLOL nya aku kerana tak melihat ini semua....
Saturday, January 10, 2009
It's 2009 - Reflection/Projection
Happy New Year to all!!!
Yeah.. I'm late! 10 days late! Normally I would got my New Year's Resolutions ready by new year's day. This time around it didn't happen. Well, I had intended to post it up on new year's eve from Beijing; where I've sought refuge from the hectic schedules in Singapore.
Like many have already known, I did my 2009 countdown in the freezing Beijing. Nope, I was not at the party ground.. just sitting on my bed nursing my swollen ankle. I could hear people cheering and sound of fireworks in the sky! But the freezing temperature and my sore ankle does not permits me to be out there. Furthermore, I'm not a party freak and had always spent New Year's Eve spending some quiet moments by myself in a hotel room wherever we happen to be then.
Flashback : I did my countdown for 2006 in Jakarta not alone. Tina stayed awake and we watched the fireworks together from our room in Aryadutta.
********* 2008 Reflection *********
It had not been such a good year for me; Sort of expected it.
So, everytime something adverse happen, I would try to remain cool and just take a very deep breath.
2008 is my first-term in my new job. I had been very bored with the former cos I had too little to do (just not me!). I felt so under-utilised, felt so incapable.. So, I embarked on this new journey which promised me a more active role in a fast-moving environment.
The journey had been drastic and steep! I'm back to my old-self (workaholic & hyperactive) within a year ditching those 3-years of laid-back lifestyle of admiring the scenic view from my desk while gently sipping my coffee.
An active role was promised and that's what I got. Mandatory courses to attend, understudying one role after another, managing my backlogs, swimming in a pool of contracts, battling legal jargons, social networking, adapting to new environment, adjusting to human factors, etc.
On top of that, my personal life is a roller-coaster itself! Hubby's failed biz venture, long hours at work, exhausted my energy pack, dehydrated my emotion capsules, mom's health took a dip, kid's falling grades, etc.
If there's a thing I could regret not doing in 2008 would be: for not being available and there for Eddy and help him adjust into his new environment. I was just too busy and left him to do his own adjustment into his new school. I realised of his painful ordeals in school only when its too late! I'm horrible.. indeed!
But, there's one thing in the list that was achieved; Hubby finally got this PCCDL (his boat driving license)! hip hip hurray!
********* 2009 Projection **********
After so many bad things I've done in 2008, I've decided to make things good this year amidst the global economic crisis.
For once, let's stop thinking about dollars and cents. Let's just be more human. Let's be more considerate. Let's be more kinder. Let's be more honest to ourselves!
Here's what I hope to achieve in 2009:
Yeah.. I'm late! 10 days late! Normally I would got my New Year's Resolutions ready by new year's day. This time around it didn't happen. Well, I had intended to post it up on new year's eve from Beijing; where I've sought refuge from the hectic schedules in Singapore.
Like many have already known, I did my 2009 countdown in the freezing Beijing. Nope, I was not at the party ground.. just sitting on my bed nursing my swollen ankle. I could hear people cheering and sound of fireworks in the sky! But the freezing temperature and my sore ankle does not permits me to be out there. Furthermore, I'm not a party freak and had always spent New Year's Eve spending some quiet moments by myself in a hotel room wherever we happen to be then.
Flashback : I did my countdown for 2006 in Jakarta not alone. Tina stayed awake and we watched the fireworks together from our room in Aryadutta.
********* 2008 Reflection *********
It had not been such a good year for me; Sort of expected it.
So, everytime something adverse happen, I would try to remain cool and just take a very deep breath.
2008 is my first-term in my new job. I had been very bored with the former cos I had too little to do (just not me!). I felt so under-utilised, felt so incapable.. So, I embarked on this new journey which promised me a more active role in a fast-moving environment.
The journey had been drastic and steep! I'm back to my old-self (workaholic & hyperactive) within a year ditching those 3-years of laid-back lifestyle of admiring the scenic view from my desk while gently sipping my coffee.
An active role was promised and that's what I got. Mandatory courses to attend, understudying one role after another, managing my backlogs, swimming in a pool of contracts, battling legal jargons, social networking, adapting to new environment, adjusting to human factors, etc.
On top of that, my personal life is a roller-coaster itself! Hubby's failed biz venture, long hours at work, exhausted my energy pack, dehydrated my emotion capsules, mom's health took a dip, kid's falling grades, etc.
If there's a thing I could regret not doing in 2008 would be: for not being available and there for Eddy and help him adjust into his new environment. I was just too busy and left him to do his own adjustment into his new school. I realised of his painful ordeals in school only when its too late! I'm horrible.. indeed!
But, there's one thing in the list that was achieved; Hubby finally got this PCCDL (his boat driving license)! hip hip hurray!
********* 2009 Projection **********
After so many bad things I've done in 2008, I've decided to make things good this year amidst the global economic crisis.
For once, let's stop thinking about dollars and cents. Let's just be more human. Let's be more considerate. Let's be more kinder. Let's be more honest to ourselves!
Here's what I hope to achieve in 2009:
- No more late nights in office. I'm setting my max to 6.30 pm (on days I arrive office 7.45am or earlier)
- Ladies' dinner will be restricted to once a week (Monday or Wednesday only)
- Road Trips will be restricted to max 2 times a year
- Study Revision with kids every evening (or at least 3 times a week)
- Sleep Early (by 11 pm at least)
Here's what I hope for in 2009:
- I find peace and be kind to others
- I want to improve my Bahasa Melayu
- Hubby finds happiness
- Kids do well in their studies
- My parents are well and healthy
- My cats are healthy & happy
~ The End ~
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