Ramadhan is coming!!

Ramadhan is just round the corner, seriously round the corner (2 days to go)!

I am always eager with the arrival of Ramadhan. It will be a month when I have so many things to do in so little time. There's so many fond memories that will come flashing back whenever Ramadhan appears. It will also be a time for me to do self-reflection, to draft a new resolution, to make it a point to be with my family.

As a child, I am always competing during Ramadhan - who gets to complete a full month without a day missed. I was not very healthy, always sick.. mom's say cos I was a premie (born after 7 months in her tummy). So, whenever I do get to complete my fasting without a miss, I'll get present. But perhaps it was not so much about the gift - its all about winning!

As a mom, I witness the training of fasting on my young kids. It was not easy training my two boys - Eddy and Ryan. My mom always feel they are too young to endure fasting (lame!) and would feed them quietly behind my back! I am a no-nonsense mommy, so I see them rolling on the floor in hunger and giving me pathetic faces to gain my sympathy during the weekends when granny is not there! hahahaha!. I think it was only when Eddy was 7 or 8 when it all become a normal routine.

Tina was easy. She started fasting (full day) when she was three.

Last year Ramadhan is something I will always remember. It was on the very first day of fasting, I attended a job interview. After the interview, I went straight to Starbuck and ordered my frappucino & cinnamon Roll. I was chewing on my first bite of cinnamon roll when my brain suddenly yell "wadda hell am I doin? I'm fasting!!!"
Ouch! I forgot! I threw out whats in my mouth and head over to the counter to ask the lady to pack it away for me. I told her that I had forgotten that I'm fasting. She was sweet, she took my tray and hand me a voucher. I can redeem my frappucino another time (that's what I call.. GOOD SERVICE!).

During Ramadhan we are always busy. There's approximately 4 weekends to dine with family. On top of that, there's shopping to do. Normally, I would sent all the materials for my outfits to the seamstress months ahead. We normally start shopping for the kids two weeks thru Ramadhan - kids get excited that way.

I will also be busy making pineapple tarts during that same time. Yes, I make my own pineapple tarts every year without fail because that is what my hubby and kids like most. The rest of the cookies we will buy off the rack. This year I hope to make my own Kek Lapis though I am a little disappointed with the new oven I bought. Let's hope hubby allow me to buy another oven instead.

This year will be a little different for me. I'm not in the mood for anything. My life feels empty, as if there's something missing. I have not sent my material to the seamstress either (looks like no hari raya clothes for me??). No, we'll get those ready-made clothes for the whole family for our first day. The rest of the days.. I think I'll recycle my songkets.

Mentioning about hari raya outfits reminds me of Rini. Last year, the two of us wore baju kurung for the whole first week of hari raya in office - It was really one sweet memory! I normally wear baju kurung when I dont know what to wear to work (horrible me!).

Ramadhan & Eid Ul Fitri.. brings back sad memories. I just can't help but to think what are my two babies doing in heaven. I wish they were here enjoying the good time with us.. Its been two years yet I still misses them so much! ( I am crying as I wrote this in office.. fortunately everyone has left).

sorry.. I cannot complete this writing...